Old Spot, roast dinner... Dame Edith....

BRIAN, LANDLORD OF THE “COD’S HEAD”.

You will have noticed that Brian is an obvious anagram of brain. (get a grip. Ed.)



“There’s no loyalty about these days, everybody out for themselves. If you want loyalty, get a dog, that’s what I say.






Yes my love? - - - - - there you are.






Look at those Kenyan MPs right? awarded themselves a huge pay rise while their people are starving; getting almost as much as ours they are, and our MPs are the highest paid in Europe. In Kenya they get ninety four thousand ponds a year, and that’s after tax!!!!; - - basket case Sub-Saharan Africa, - - robbing each other blind when there not chopping each others limbs off. Their prime minister gets twenty nine thousand pounds a month, a blasted month!!!! Twenty nine thousand pounds!!






Take Afghanistan right? Where’s your loyalty there? Nowhere that’s where! Buggers changing sides as it suits em and then shooting unarmed British soldiers trying to help train em to look after themselves! - - Should have left that place well alone. East India Company and the British army got well thrashed in Afghanistan three or four times, AND the poor bloody Russians. Let em sort themselves out. They have to have their own revolution if they don’t like their rulers, not up to us is it? Am I right?






Used to be able to leave flowers or eggs outside with a punnet for the money, now the kids’ll nick it; not just kids neither!!! You have to watch casual staff like a hawk nowadays.






Yes Squire? Cheezy Snax and a pickled egg - - - and one bag pork scratchings. Anything else? That’s one pound ninety five.






You can bet they wish they were still in the British Empire! Standard of living has gone down since we left Africa. At least India is doing well, but then they was already half-civilised before we got there right? They was in the Stone-Age in Africa. Poor buggers, never had a decent pint of ale in their lives, let alone a square meal. I hear a lot of em are turning back to cannibalism now there’s no white man to stop em. No point in wasting them chopped off limbs, right?






Yes thanks Squire, I’ll have a half with you.”






I wouldn’t mind trying human flesh would you? They say it tastes like pork… On a roast dinner like….








"A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits." Edith Sitwell. (This could equally well apply to a great many people painting pictures, playing instruments, and doing arts and crafts in general).



In the humble opinion of yours truly, there is far too much art all round. It would suit me if there were half the amount of it but twice as good. The Long List for the Booker Prize could be half its previous length – one would hope.



How pleasant it would be to walk into a restaurant and be surprised by the quality of the art hung upon the walls, instead of having to eat a possibly delicious meal while having to avert one’s eyes for fear of nervous indigestion. I don’t care how ‘modern’ or how traditional the work is, I just don’t want to suffer the incompetent daubings of one of the customers or of the owners wife. What’s wrong with a blank wall anyway? It’s peaceful and calming to have somewhere to rest the eye while thinking of a suitable repost to your companion, or to just savor a sip of pudding wine. (What a pretentious load of elitist rubbish! Ed.)

Edith Sitwell - Roger Fry

Of course, the pithy remark of the old Dame might just as well apply to me!  (It blinking well does!  Ed.)

Pip, pip,

The Leg